What Really Matters

My parents called late tonight to tell me that my cousin Darrin had committed suicide. I have been crying all night. Darrin is Bryans age and he lived with our family after his mission. He was always such a good person, but he really struggled with Bi Polar disorder. He had been unsuccessful with a few jobs the last few years and had really been quite depressed. We just don't understand how he truly could have been feeling- it is unreal though- he had 4 children and a wife- and for the past few months he had been really depressed. You know, having a mental disorder really is an illness. Like cancer or other harmful diseases, it can just get worse and worse even with treatment. It is so sad- especially for his mother Sharon. My aunt Sharon is my dad Val's sister- she had three children two boys, Darrin & Brian, and a girl Lori Jo- Lori Jo followed the grateful dead while they toured the country and became a terrible drug addict that lives in Colorado somewhere- and last time I saw her she hadn't shaved for a very long time and had dread locks down the middle of her back. She is gone- and now Darrin. It is just tragic for my aunt and uncle who have lived such good lives. They have always been active in the church and have served so many people. Life is just not fair. No matter what kind of parent you are- children grow up and make their own decisions- go their own way, and ultimately decide for themselves. It just makes me want to hold Isaac & Penn so close to me. They are so pure and innocent right now. I just don't even know what else to say other than I am really sad- sad about losing my cousin Darrin, his family and for my aunt and uncle. It really is a time for reflection about what REALLY MATTERS in life. And also to do your visiting teaching! I have known so many people who really feel like they have no one- and I know that we can help ease the burden just by being there for people.